Greg L. Gilbert…Thoughts From The Lower Bunk

We currently have a very dark cloud hanging over the head of every Arkansas Razorback fan, a spouse, children, a fiancée and anyone with Arkansas ties. It was placed there by our highest paid state employee, Head Coach Bobby Petrino and his employee, Jessica Dorrell. There is no need for animosity towards each other because of how we believe it should be handled. That’s not our role in this situation.

This dark cloud was created by the choices of two people and as usual, bad choices will eventually land your ox (or Harley) in the ditch. As Mr. Long stated in the news conference, there is no committee. He will ultimately make this decision and We aren’t He. Hang with me. I want us to agree on something.

Point # 1. In most decisions or choices in life we are given two very visible options. Yes or No? Left or Right? Up or Down? Let me throw in two more options. Selfish or Selfless? A selfish decision considers ME and ME only. What I want and what I think is best for ME right now. A selfless decision considers the impact on others. Most people with high integrity will realize that a decision that benefits others will in turn, benefit them also. Can we agree that normally there are two routes and one is selfish and the other selfless?

Point # 2. Every decision Bobby Petrino and Jessica Dorrell made in the creation of this dark cloud was selfish. No one else was considered. The consideration of a spouse, fiancée, child, university, state or fan was nowhere in site. Don’t you just hate when you are not considered when a decision impacts you? None of us were even a glimmer in their mind. Can we agree that all decisions by the two parties were totally selfish?

I could go all HR on you now and talk about the Seven Tests of Just Cause but I’m sure Mr. Long will spend time with these this weekend. (Mr. Long, spend extra time on the ones about past history of integrity, do you think the problem is solved, were they aware of the rules and punishment fitting the crime. Never mind, better look at all of them. Sorry, I forgot, I’m not on your committee.)

Here is the book that I highly recommend reading quickly, “How Do You Kill 11 Million People” by Andy Andrews. It will make you see this and many other situations in a different light. He asks you to find a point of agreement. Hopefully we’ve already found two. He will ask you another. “Can we agree that it is wrong for people to lie?” He also asks a very powerful question that each one of us that has ever stood on our feet and yelled Wooooo Pig Sooooie need to look in the mirror and ask ourself. Be truly honest. “What are your standards for being led?” Well, what are they? I highly recommend this book. It has greatly influenced my thought process on finding mutual ground.

How high is integrity and character on your life priority list? Are they above or below winning football games? How high have you set your bar? Can you drive a semi under it or slide your debit card under it?

Friends, this is about more than football. This is about more than recruiting, donations or attendance. It is NOT about an affair, judging someone or second chances. It is about the seeds we are planting. Our direction on this will make a very important entry into our Life Resume. I promise you, Jeff Long is thinking about more than just next season.

Fast forward 20 years when many seasons have passed. Remove your emotions and add a few gray hairs. Now imagine your grandchild reading about this dark cloud and asking, “Grandpa or Nana, how did you feel about this? How do you feel about integrity and character? How important are those two things?” Moment of truth.  In fact, don’t fast forward 20 years, hit the pause button right now. How do you feel about integrity and character right now and what are your standards for being led? Thank you Andy Andrews for a great book.

Early Sunday morning I took a walk through the pasture on our farm and took a few moments at the pond for some reflection. Get it? Some reflection. Thankfully I had my phone to capture the reflection of the clouds on the mirror-like water.

It reminded me of years ago camping at Lake Greeson in South Arkansas. This was the type of water you loved early in the morning or right before sundown. Water that smooth just begged me to push my limits on that 70 inch O’Brien slalom. In fact I found my limit many times. It was probably a few degrees closer to plum than when I busted it. Two pulled hamstrings, a few stitches and many days of moving like I was 80 years old were the result of going just past my limit.

As I sat there looking at that water, it made me think, am I pushing to find my limits today? Are you? Have we become complacent in our life, our health, career, our relationships? My goal is to be content but not complacent. I want to continue to close the gap in all aspects of my life between my performance and my potential. Can you see your potential from your performance? What about with a telescope? I’ve learned all it takes is a plan and NOTHING changes until something is written.

Do you think we have become less “driven” as a society?  

Have you ever been watching your favorite team and it just seemed like they shifted from “doing everything to win” to the mode of “trying not to lose”? I have. It really fires you up if you are into the game.

Have you ever thought what a spectator of your life or business would see? Are you A. Doing everything to win or B. Just trying to get by and not lose? Let me tell you if you are in mode B, you are losing. This is true in life and business. I just posted this on the header of my website, www.UnwillingToSettle.com

 “In any sport, if you suddenly take a defensive stance and begin playing “to not lose” instead of “to win”, I will beat you. In business, if you take the same defensive stance by choosing not to equip and develop your team in order to reduce expenses, I will take your customers. Why? Few companies have mastered the ability to shift their team into the mindset of expense reduction while maintaining or increasing energy and effort.” – Greg Gilbert

In 1992, I was in the finals of the Arkansas State 8-Ball Championship. I quit doing what got me to the finals. I played to not lose. I lost. In 1993 I was in the finals of the Arkansas State 8-Ball Championship. I played to win. I won. I’ve had the same thing happen on the tennis and racquetball court. Why in the world would we not realize this logic applies to life and business also?

If you shift into a mindset of cutting back, scarcity and austerity, it will be very difficult to have that same glob of gray matter begin thinking, “let’s go get em”. Attack! No, retreat! No, Attack! Well, which is it? There are too many examples of individuals and companies in this country that are playing “to not lose” and are losing. Don’t be one of them.

Do you walk in the office saying “just let me do my work and I will leave everyone alone”? Do you believe unseen and unheard are more likely to be unfired? Or do you sling open the door and yell “what can we add to the bottom line today”?

What examples of playing “to not lose” in business and life can you think of?

A few months ago I was contacted about speaking at a Civitan meeting in Hope, Arkansas. It was their annual meeting where they honor the Clergy of the community. It is also the time they share the story of “The Four Chaplains” and pay tribute to these four men.

I had never heard the story and I would like to share the story from the Civitan website:

The Four Chaplains

On February 3, 1943, the USS Dorchester was pushing through the treacherous waters of the North Atlantic. With 905 American servicemen aboard, the Dorchester left its convoy a few hours short of its destination. A German submarine, stalking the ship undetected, took this opportunity to fire a torpedo straight toward the ship’s stern. The torpedo struck amidships and exploded in the boiler room. Many on board died instantly, and some were trapped below deck. Others jolted from their bunks half asleep, clambered to reach the decks of the stricken vessel. Taking on water rapidly, the ship began listing to starboard. Because security reasons prevented use of distress flares, escort vessels, still close enough to assist, pushed on into the darkness, unaware that the Dorchester was sinking. Overcrowded lifeboats capsized; rafts drifted away before anyone could reach them.

On deck, amid confusion and terror, Army chaplains George L. Fox, Alexander D. Goode, Clark V. Poling and John P. Washington moved about calming frightened men, directing bewildered soldiers to lifeboats, and distributing life jackets with calm precision. Soon, the supply of jackets was exhausted, yet four young soldiers, afraid and without life vests, stood waiting. Quickly the chaplains stripped off their own and forced them upon the young soldiers.

The four men of God (one Catholic, one Jewish and two Protestant) had given away their only means of saving themselves in order to save others. Men rowing away from the sinking ship in lifeboats saw the chaplains clinging to each other on the slanting deck, arms linked together and heads bowed as they prayed to the one God whom each of them loved and served. The Dorchester sank beneath the icy waters of the North Atlantic, pulling with it the four chaplains and 675 servicemen.

It is this moment which Civitans annually pause to remember, and in so doing, pause to say thank you to the clergy of their communities.

——————————-

Wow. Just reading this story was rewarding for me. I love a great story. Some of the most memorable lessons in my life have been through stories. Not yelling, screaming, sarcasm or criticism. Stories. There is an old cliché that says “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. My teacher has appeared many times as a story. Whether I am teaching a leadership class or giving a presentation to a business or church, stories are an important part of what I do.

Now I wanted to pay tribute to these men in a manner other than reading or sharing the story. I looked at writing a song or a poem but nothing seemed to capture the essence of what they had done. Then it hit me. Gratitude! I have always been so grateful for my family, life and all that surrounds it. I thought who better to express gratitude for what these four Chaplains did than one of the four recipients of a life jacket. I also didn’t have to write a song because a few months ago I wrote a song titled “With What They Died For” that fit perfectly.

I asked the audience to role play with me. I gave each attendee a folded card and inside it said “You are the parent of ________ and I put the name of one of the four chaplains on each card. I asked them to visualize receiving this letter; 

This was my hypothetical letter to the parents of “The Four Chaplains” from a survivor.

——————————-

Thanksgiving Day, November 26, 1953

To: The parents of George Fox, Alexander Goode, Clark Poling and John Washington.

You don’t know me and I realize it has been over 10 years but I want to share my appreciation with you. I have just spent a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family. As I see my wife and two children in the kitchen, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness and appreciation. I am writing this letter with tears of gratitude streaming down my face.

You see, I was on the USS Dorchester in 1943. We were part of a six ship convoy in route to southern Greenland. We left New York harbor on January 23, 1943.

During the early morning hours of February 3, 1943, there was a loud explosion. We did not know it at the time but the Dorchester had been torpedoed by German U-boat. The damage was severe, boiler power was lost, and there was inadequate steam to sound the full 6-whistle signal to abandon ship. The Dorchester sank by the bow in about 20 minutes. Loss of power prevented the crew from sending a radio distress signal, and no rockets or flares were launched to alert the escorts. The ship was leaning so bad it prevented the launch of some port side lifeboats and some lifeboats capsized through overcrowding. Hypothermia killed most men in the water. Water temperature was 34 °F and the air temperature was 36 °F.

The reason for my letter is I was in line as four chaplains handed out life jackets. As I arrived at the front of the line, the supply of life jackets was exhausted.

Without hesitation, the chaplains removed their life jackets and gave them to me and the three crewmen behind me. We attempted to argue but they insisted. These four Chaplains were your sons. We then rushed around the ship but were unable to get in one of the remaining life rafts. I went into the water.  

Those of us that were in the water were so stiff from cold that we could not even grasp the cargo nets on rescue vessels. The crews of two ships tried a new “retriever” rescue technique whereby swimmers clad in wet suits swam to those of us in the water and secured a line to us so we could be hauled onto the ship. By this method, the two ships saved 230 men of the 904 aboard the Dorchester. I was one of those saved and it is because of the life jacket given to me by your son.

I was told later by a friend in a lifeboat that they saw the chaplains clinging to each other on the sinking deck, arms linked together and heads bowed as they prayed.

As I look through tear filled eyes at my wife, son and daughter and hear their laughter, I want to thank you personally for the unselfish act of your son. Most children are a reflection of their parents and I am certain that your son displayed character and values instilled by you. You should be very proud. I do not take any day for granted and I will live my life in a manner that serves others.

Thank you for the second chance that your son gave me. His story and legacy will live on forever through many generations.

Signed,

A survivor because of your son.

——————————-

Now I am not the recipient of a life jacket from a person that went down on a ship BUT I am extremely grateful for my faith and the people that died for my freedom. Many of us could write this same letter and only change a few names and sentences.

So join me in answering the question in my song “With What They Died For”. “Are you proud of what you’ve done with what they died for?” To hear a sample of the song click  Here. 

Oh, and thanks so much to the Hope Civitans for that beautiful etched glass display and stand. It is beautiful.

There is an old cliché; “Keep doing what you’ve been doing and you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting.” I believe this is no longer true. The bar has been raised. With technology and competition, doing the same activity today does not produce the same results as it did 20 years ago. If this is true and we think of what we should be paid, the comps in the neighborhood have changed also.

Average has always been the worst of the best and the best of the worst. The old average horse ain’t paid what it used to be, paid what it used to be. If you are looking at your job as how easy it is, accept it, easy shouldn’t pay much. If it was your company, how much would you pay for easy?

So what do we do about it? Challenge ourselves. Look at each aspect of our life and see what improvements we can make. In many cases we don’t have to begin something, we only have to STOP something to improve an aspect of our life. Ex: Studies show that the average (there’s that word) American will have watched nine years of TV by their 65^th birthday.

 If we aren’t reading it, watching it, listening to it, attending it, hanging around it and applying it, we don’t get it and certainly can’t give it. What if every person took your approach to personal growth and development? What seeds are we sowing? What value are you bringing to the marketplace, your family?

Sign up for our updates at www.UnwillingToSettle.com and receive an “Accountable Seedership™ Life Scorecard”.

I want to introduce my new keynote presentation, “Accountable Seedership™ Is Our Responsibility, Not A Choice.” The subtitle is “Filling In The Potholes Of Life With Good Seeds!” My presentation will not apply to everyone, I am targeting a niche market. If you fill one of these roles in life, you will benefit; Mother, Father, Step-Mother, Step-Father, Husband, Wife, Grandparent, Employee, Supervisor, Manager, Business Owner, Preacher, Teacher. If you are in one of these roles, you are in a position of influence. In my opinion, if you are in a position of influence, you forfeit your right to sow bad seeds. The jars above represent different aspects of our life and “good seeds” that are planted. The more “good seeds” that are planted in each aspect will reduce the regrets in our life and fill in the potholes. There is also the probability of no seeds or bad seeds in each category.   

Why did I pick these roles? Because, each of these roles are entered by choice. As a mother or father, you chose to have a child. You don’t have the right to sow bad seeds and mess with a child’s ability to make good life choices. The same is true with grandparents. When you chose to have children, you knew the high possibility of becoming a grandparent. How does it feel to be an excuse? Well, papaw does it. Well, dad does it. Well, mom does it. If you are one of those that says don’t do what I do, do what I say, you are a hypocrite. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it remains a pig. You are a hypocrite.

The same is true with the other roles. People watch your ACTIONS. The problems in this country will not be fixed by a politician. If you believe the politicians will fix this country with laws and entitlement programs, you have bought into the victim mentality. You will always be part of the problem and never part of the solution. Until a majority of us look in the mirror and become totally accountable for our health, finances, marriage, children and career, this country will never return to greatness.

I recently wrote and recorded two new songs, “What Are They Leaving With” and “With What They Died For”. “What Are They Leaving With” talks about our children. What seeds are they leaving with? Good or Bad? Remember, you don’t have the right to sow bad seeds. The second song asks another tough question; “are you proud of what you’ve done with what they died for?” People died for our freedom and we don’t have the right to ruin it. I could prepare an entire presentation around the honest answers to those two questions.   

Begin by completing the “Accountable Seedership™ Life Scorecard”.  Go to www.UnwillingToSettle.com and join our e-mail list on the left side and we will e-mail the Life Scorecard to you. This is a free document with no obligation. We will not sell or use your email for anything but blogs and updates. You may unsubscribe at any time.  

If you would like to bring the “Accountable Seedership™ Is Our Responsibility” presentation to your group, go to www.AccountableSeedership.com for additional information. This presentation can be customized for business meetings, associations or churches.

This will be a combination of stories, songs and seed sowing lessons by “Mr. HR With A Guitar”.

Look forward to throwing some good seeds your way,

Greg Gilbert

I teach a leadership course called Accountable Leadership And Results Management Training. I also do keynote presentations as “Mr. HR With A Guitar”. I was recently asked this question; “Why would you do those things after you retire?”

I wasn’t really prepared for that question but here is the answer I gave: I do what I do because;

• I love what I do.
• It is my background and I am good at it.
• I am making a contribution.
• I make money doing it.

These are in no particular order but I then asked them, isn’t this why you do what you do?” I got the “deer in the headlight” look.

Why do you do what you do? If some of these are missing, you cannot be as efficient, productive and enjoying life as you should be. This is especially true if you are only working for the money. It really doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in.

Here is a good test; Do you talk the same about your company in front of your manager and in front of your spouse? Both positive? Both negative? One positive, one negative? Do you believe in what you are doing? Since we are in the results business and not the group hug business, if you don’t believe, leave. Who knows, someone with all four bullet points could replace you. It could be a win, win, win. Now that’s what I’m talking about!

gg-ALARMT
www.ALARMT.com

1. What are your standards for being led? – Andy Andrews

2. Are you proud of what you’ve done with what they died for? – Greg Gilbert

“What are your standards for being led?” Wow! What a question. That was a question Andy Andrews asked on his podcast while discussing his new book, “How Do You Kill 11 Million People?: Why the Truth Matters More Than You Think.”

Here are some other points he made.  1. None of the presidential elections in the last 25 years were determined by more than 10 million votes. 2. In each presidential election in the last 25 years, there were at least 100 million of voting age that did not vote. 3. Of those at least 100 million that did not vote, 65% called themselves Christians. Draw your own conclusion of these facts. Do you see what I see?

While in my HR position at SW Bell, I took a speech class at a local college. By taking a three hour course, I can now check “Some College”. I have read that over 70% of Americans do not read a non-fiction book after high school. Read this book and move yourself into what I consider the top 30% of Americans and educate yourself to make a difference. Pass it along.

The book is available at most bookstores and at Amazon HERE.

You can also get more information at www.AndyAndrews.com

————————————————————-

Now that we’ve covered Andy’s question, here is my question; “Are you proud of what you’ve done, with what they died for? That is part of the chorus to my new song, “With What They Died For”, www.WithWhatTheyDiedFor.com  .  Also available on iTunes HERE.

 I was honored to be able to share this on the KATV Veterans Day program on 11-11-11. A listener contacted me after the program and ordered 550 of my CD’s. Over the Christmas break, every politician in Washington DC received their own CD with this question in the chorus:

Chorus:
“Are you proud of what you’ve done with what they’ve died for?
Are you proud of what you stand for in your life?
Do you speak, act and vote, in a way where they’d be proud?
Is your life just a whisper or can you shout it loud?
Well let me introduce you to a mother that has lost a child at war.
Can you tell her you are proud of what you’ve done, with what they’ve died for?”

This listener was on a mission. She is angry about what is going on in our country and wanted to do something about it. I admire her effort.

We all need to ask ourselves some tough questions, do our own research and do what we feel is right for the future of our country. As Andy says, we need to become angry or concerned enough to do something.

I have never deep fried a turkey. I bought a deep fryer years ago. The tape had disintegrated and the box lid popped open just a few days ago. I took that as a sign. This would be the year. Everyone would be here for Christmas so I wanted to begin a new tradition at the Griswald, Gilbert home. Deep fried turkey. Since I retired from a company that was really into acronyms, this will be referred to as the DFT in the future. LOL!

The DFT would be the equivalent of the new Air Jordan’s at the mall. My plan was to give everyone just a small sliver as a teaser. Then the family would be lining up, shoving and breaking in line to insure they got a piece of what would be the newest tradition. I would show my daughters, son-in-laws and grandsons how it was done and for generations, they would talk about that first DFT prepared by Papaw gg. I would have pictures of the DFT that would appear in family albums for hundreds of years. What a wonderful plan.

I considered cooking two and having the first preserved by a taxidermist to place on the mantle. I scratched this idea quickly after realizing what a problem this could cause with kids and grandkids arguing about who would get the “First DFT”. I want my family to continue getting together on holidays. Our most peaceful sleep is with every child and grandchild under one roof.

Sorry, I got off track. We went immediately and bought a 13 pounder that would begin the tradition. It would be second only to the bird served by the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock. Everyone would forget presents. Christmas 2011 would be remembered for;

1.   The birth of our Savior.

2.   The DFT.

3.   Everything else.

I am really big on this integrity thing so I must confess. When we purchased the 13 pounder and since this was my maiden voyage into DFTdom, I did suggest that Sandy purchase BUM (Back Up Meat), just in case.  This was the $23 pre-cooked, smoked bird that has served our family well for years.

I must insert here that I have been married for 35 years and Sandy is very tolerant of my big ideas. She recognized my passion for this project and was very willing to allow some latitude. She is in charge of indoor cooking, I am outdoor guy. Grilling, frying, that’s me.

I wanted to fry. I wanted to see bubbles popping. I knew I could do it and not have the Unit guy from Allstate talk about me burning my house down. Joey and Rory’s Christmas CD on the stereo, me in the lawn chair, a cold glass of Borden’s Egg Nog and just like it says in the book of Genesis, man with dominion over turkey, or something like that.   

Okay, I begin calling folks. I wanted to talk to someone else that may have this tradition. No, nope, never done it, can’t help you. This should have been a clue but I was a man on a mission. I refused to be deterred. So I went to that friend we all call on when we are in need, yes, Google. I had plenty of help there. Paula Deen, Brians Belly. Thousands were willing to help.

The picture at the top of the page was to be the beginning of hundreds of years of Papaw gg’s DFT. A starter kit if you may. We had the injector and the rub also. Speaking of the rub, here’s where the rub began. You see, the first step was to see how much oil you need. Sandy had purchased one gallon for $10. (And we complain about $3.00 a gallon gas.) Surely that was enough. We now had $13 in the turkey, $10 in grease. $23, the equivalent of our BUM (Back Up Meat). Everything was all right. Well, we put the turkey in the 30 quart pot. I then poured in a gallon of water to see where our gallon of grease would come to. I think the gallon covered the bottom of the pot. I’m thinking if this turkey still had a head, it would still be breathing and not blowing bubbles.  

So with a two quart container, I begin pouring more water in the container. Instead of counting two quarts though, I count $5 with every two quarts. Finally at $45 I stop. I am above the turkey. If my calculations were correct, it would take $45 worth of grease to drown this $13 turkey. My creative song writing mind goes to bigger turkey, smaller pot or cheaper grease. I even suggest another turkey to minimize the cost of the grease.  

That is when, after 35 years of wedded bliss, the latitude stopped. I thought I recognized that “are you stupid” look. All doubt was removed when she referred to my generational dream, my passion as a $75 Deep Fried Heart Attack.

To sum it up, there will be no DFT at the Gilbert household this year. Plan B, Google, can you tell me how to cook a $13 turkey on a grill without using $45 worth of propane.

Never fear and thank you Andy Andrews. There WILL be a new tradition started at the Gilbert household. My wife and I are big fans of Andy Andrews. I have read all of his books. When I wrote “My Life Appraisal”, all I took to a mountain cabin was pen, paper and Andy’s “Seven Decisions” DVD. We listen to his podcast. Last week he talked about a Christmas tradition of his family when he was a child. He and Polly still continue this tradition with their children today. Every year they have a birthday cake for Jesus. We will begin and continue this tradition. Andy, I thank you and Sandy really thanks you.

P.S. I offered to go get a cake and Sandy strongly requested that I stay away from retail outlets until after Christmas. She said she can make the cake for $2. I know where she can get a little grease for the bottom of the pan.  

Oh yeah- For Sale-Brinkman Turkey Fryer-$50-Never used.